From the Mouths of Students

So as much as I loved linking up for "What I'm Loving Wednesday", I think I'm going to take a break for the moment.  I was running out of things to tell you about my boring little life, especially considering the Monday GBU and High Five for Friday.  Plus, Jamie's posts do not go live until 9 AM eastern time, which means I'm well into the school day and can't actually link up until lunch.  And we all know that being at the bottom of a large linky list gets you absolutely nowhere.  

The lovely Kati recently published a couple of fantastic blog posts containing hilarious quotes from her awesome middle school students.  They never fail to make me laugh out loud, so I figured I'd copy her and tell you some of the silly things that I've heard elementary kids say over the last few months.

Without further ado, here's what I like to call, "Overheard by Your Substitute".

"Mrs. _______ usually lets us play games all day on [insert current day of the week]."

Sorry, kid.  You got stuck with a certified teacher as your sub today.  We're gonna do stuff.

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"Miss G_____, are you married yet?" -- this gets asked a lot by a specific group of kids whose teacher I've been in for 15 times this year.

If I was married, my name would not be Miss G______, now would it?

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"I threw up this morning but my mom had a big day at work so I came to school anyway."

Ohhhh realllllyyy?  Yeah...you can't be here right now.  Go to the nurse.

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"Do you think her [meaning me] eyelashes are really for real for real?"

The answer is yes.  They are real.  

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[The assignment is to come up with a present that you would give to each member of your family and then calculate the sum of the money you've spent on them.  This kid was thinking aloud, but quietly] 

"Hmmm...I'm going to get mom an iPad and that's gonna cost $200.  And then I'm getting my brother an Xbox, which will also be $200.  But now I have to get Dad something.  Maybe a box of ding dongs?  That'll be $2.50.

Sounds like Dad hit the jackpot on this one...

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"Will you scare me?  My hiccups won't go away."

Yeah, um, no.  

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"Are you older or younger than 18?"

Look, kids, I understand that I look like I could be in high school.  But did you have to point it out?!

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[Sung by the whole class, in unison, to the tune of "If You're Happy and You Know It"] 

"If you wanna go to lunch grab a seat.  If you wanna go to lunch grab a seat.  If you wanna go to lunch, sit your butt in a chair.  If you wanna go to lunch grab a seat."

I was speechless.

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And for my personal favorite:

[The kids are talking about theme.  They have to read a paragraph and determine the theme of the little story within.  This example was a story about Mr. Pig and Mr. Dog.  Mr. Pig ordered a huge pizza and would not share with Mr. Dog.  He ate the whole thing and was so full, that when they were later chased by hunter, he couldn't run fast and was killed.  That night, Mr. Dog finds a tasty hambone and eats it.  What is the theme?  Oh I don't know, maybe the importance of sharing?]

Or maybe the theme is: "We don't eat our friends."  I've heard it both ways.

So even though I can't wait to have my own classroom and a set group of students every day, it's always kind of funny to experience different personalities across grade levels.  They definitely make each day interesting, that's for sure!

What funny quotes have you overhead from kids?